its my birthday and I’m not happy…why?
ups and downs, left and right
Have you ever feel that your life had just been being thrown around. Till everything got so messy and all you want to do was just to sit down, or stare blankly, and nothing to salvage the situation?
weird
feeling weird…my mum is going oversea this weekend and I’m having duty on saturday…Weekend is not enough this week! And the fucking course is coming in so soon!
And then?
So what now? I’ve realised that Singaporeans, despite complaining, will still do things that is against their own will. Just like how I’ve complained about my graduation parade. But still, I chosed to attend it, participate it and yeah, it has ended.
So, that marks the beginning of my 3rd Sergeant life. A low class commander I would call it. The most we can do is KNOCK THEM DOWN. But come on, respect is to be earned. Not through authority and power. So, now I’ve not had been attached to any company, so I’m like free everyday. Listening to lectures and afterwhich, go to Specialist Mess to sleep or watch TV. Kind of enjoyable if not for the HOT AND HUMID temperature. This kind of life, hopefully will last till 2 june. Unit Induction Program they call it. A nice and creative name for a period which we specialist have to learn about what a specialist should do.
Life still goes on…The name Operation Unit is already building pressure among all the specialist around me. We seriously need a long break before starting to handle responsibility!
The day is coming!
So, after a few months of training, my not very awaited rank of 3rd sergeant is coming. A rank which means more responsibility, but more blame to shoulder. Any fucking man who is under me try to be funny, I’ll be the one responsible. But they motherfucker can definitely be sure I won’t let him off so easily. But of course, depending on what kind of punishment I get. But one thing for sure. If I were to get punished once, he’ll not enjoy throughout his NS life.
But anyway, I’ve been waiting for the day we can go back to Pasir Laba Camp. SISPEC! A place which I dreaded most previously. We got to have a short stay in this camp, while rehearsing for the parade. I’ve no idea why specialist requires this parade when it is so not grand. Now that they have come out with Specialist Cadet Trainee, perhaps they should also let US, the SPECIALIST to gradaute with no. 1 uniform. with the golden 3 stripes sewn onto our arms. It is just THAT COOL LUH! 
Look at the background 3SG rank! On our no. 1. I wouldn’t mind spending a few 100s to get an no. 1 anyway. AWWWHHH!!!
Something should be done to those regulars mind! They are trying to make Specialist more important but yet, our graduation still sucks! WHY!!!
Its just a blink of an eye, and everything changes!
Today, 10 May 2009. It felt so unreal. I’ve no interest in anything. All I want is that time to pass as quickly as possible. And I’ve shown sign of keeping myself away from a big group. I don’t know what is happening to me. All I know is that I want everything to pass. But gradually, I seems to withdraw myself from everything. From my family and friends. I lost all the interest to go out totally.
SHIT! Anybody out there, please return Eddy to me if you ever see him roaming around the streets! Thanks!
BACK BACK BACK!
Somehow, I just feel like coming back here to blog. The interface of blogger is getting bad to worse. So, anyway, I’ve finished my bloody course and it is only a few weeks time before I am officially a 3rd Sergeant. A junior commander, in another words, it just meant more “sai kang”.
Now, we are relocated back to Nee Soon Camp. Something that we always look forward to. A place where instructors treat us like human and gives us human rights. Unlike back in Seletar Camp. We were treated worse than dogs. No rights given. But anyway, we’re just glad that its all over already. Although the chance of us going back Seletar Camp is still quite great.
We’ll be having quite a few parades and some parade rehearsals. Which I think is rather stupid. The only parade which I think is good is the graduation parade. Other than that, all the rest are just to waste our precious time. Why can’t they just give us Off-in-lieu?
It just seems different~
It was not like any other sunny day.
After a week of torment, everything became different. It was those tough trainings that makes me believe that anyone can achieve anything. But by pushing ourselves beyond our limits. And it was also during these moments, whereby we can really see what kind of people they are. How hypocritical one can be when he/she is not tired and how they expose their fox tail accidentally when they’re tired. Sometimes, it really tires me out having to mix with these sort of people. It seriously makes me wonder why must such people exist.
Yes, human are born selfish. I got to agree with this. There are times, during training, I got so tired that I rather sit down and do nothing when people are asking for help. It was not because I can no longer push myself anymore. But a very devilish side of me asked me to just sit and not do anything unless appointed. Like what a chinese old saying once said. Who wouldn’t care about themselves first? But for some other people, they are just too much and seriously, I think they don’t deserved to be in where we are now.
But what I could not endure was that people whom just stood there, complaining about how tough the work it is, how impossible it is. But doing nothing to help. I shall state some example to make this really post more vivid and comprehensive.
Scenario 1
There’s this guy whom was also in my course. He’s just simply irritating. When we are carrying heavy load, he’s always seen complaining that his arm hurts, and saying how much he did. But from the start, I’ve not seen him carrying much. Yes, he did sweat quite a lot. But that was due to the fact that he was slacking inside the stuffy tonner while we perspire due to the carrying of heavy loads. Note that I used the word sweat on him? Cause I despised him!
Anyway, there’s a lot more. But suddenly I’ve lost the interest in continuing blogging. So, shall end here!
